Grand Jury Pushback: The “Ham Sandwich” Case That Didn’t Stick
federal employment grand jury indictment mindfulness at work mspb appeals Aug 28, 2025Federal employees often hear the phrase, “a prosecutor can indict a ham sandwich.” That saying captures a sobering truth: federal grand juries almost always side with prosecutors. Which is why last week’s news out of D.C. stopped people in their tracks. A federal grand jury declined to indict a former DOJ paralegal accused of assaulting a federal officer with… a sandwich.
On the surface, it’s a story that invites humor. A late-night SWAT raid, a Subway sub allegedly turned into a weapon, and headlines that practically wrote themselves. But beneath the laughter lies a reminder with real weight for those working inside government: sometimes, ordinary citizens inside the justice system do push back.
What Grand Juries Usually Do
In the federal system, prosecutors bring evidence to a grand jury to determine whether there’s “probable cause” to charge someone. Unlike a trial, the defense has little to no role. Historically, grand juries approve indictments at staggering rates—hence the “ham sandwich” joke. The fact that this jury said “no” signals they saw the evidence, and the politics, and decided the government’s case didn’t meet the bar.
For federal employees, this is worth noting. Many of you operate in environments where leadership decisions can feel untouchable—whether it’s a proposed disciplinary action, an EEO dismissal, or a RIF notice. The truth is, even in a system tilted toward authority, there are legal moments where citizens, judges, or boards step in and say: not this time.
Why It Matters for You
This case may sound like satire, but the broader point is serious. Over-enforcement and disproportionate responses aren’t confined to criminal law. Federal employees see the same patterns when agencies escalate small disputes into career-altering battles. A missed deadline becomes a proposed removal. A sharp email becomes a charge of insubordination. The sandwich case reminds us: escalation doesn’t always hold up when tested.
Holding Perspective
It’s easy to feel powerless when facing federal processes stacked in management’s favor. But as this story shows, outcomes aren’t always foregone conclusions. A grand jury, a judge at the Merit Systems Protection Board, or even an EEOC investigator can sometimes say no—forcing the system to recalibrate. For employees under scrutiny, that knowledge can offer a measure of calm in uncertain times.
Legal Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. While I am a federal employment attorney, this post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every situation is unique, and legal outcomes depend on specific facts and circumstances.
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